So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
