If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
