Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
