Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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