y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
