Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
