found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm way too hungover for life right now
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Come on in and take your pants off
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