Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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