Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
