Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
