First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
