I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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