I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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