We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
