After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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