Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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