Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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