my soul wont recognize me after tonight
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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