Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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