OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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