I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You made out with two different species that night
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
