we're making bets on your personal life
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
