I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
