I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
