It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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