Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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