i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
