Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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