a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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