i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
