i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We named our party play list daddy issues
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
