That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
