This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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