I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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