I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
