I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
