we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
All I want is dick and wine.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
