i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
