Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
