My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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