I am in a vortex of obligation.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
