The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm just crazy horny about you
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
