Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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