Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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