how can u be prego again
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
