Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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