its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
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He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
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He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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