he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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