In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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