I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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