after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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