From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
