I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down