She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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