Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize