Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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