in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
