Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
