I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
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alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
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What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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