I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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