No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
