I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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