Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
No stitches, just platelets and will power
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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